Parenting choices

I live in a rather white hetero-normative bubble.  White-middle class-Kent. Most of my friends are home owners (we are not) and are professional double income families.  For the most part the parenting style around these parts is similar to my own upbringing with touches of alternative earthy tidbits here and there.  I have a few friends who are really into attachment parenting, cloth diapers and so on, but over all it is rare in my own circle.  There are differences in all parents, and as any parent will tell you, a lot of judgement.  As much as I would like to say I don't take part in this judgement, I know I do.  I try to keep it in check but sometimes it feels like I just keep it in reserve for extreme parenting situations. Today I had a chance to put things into perspective.  I went to the hospital for a gestational diabetes test.  This involves a two hour wait while the sugary syrup goes through your body.  During this time there were other women in the waiting room, all doing the same test.  One was with her husband and son.  My guess was that he was 4 years old.  Over the course of the two hours he was told to shut his mouth, shut up, if he didn't shut his face he wouldn't get any sweeties and other such things to keep him quiet.  His father wouldn't take him for a walk and both parents were just expecting this kid to be quiet and sit there politely as they waited for the two hours to pass.  Eventually the little boy hit his father in the arm which made the father whip his hand out and whack him on the chest.  The boy cried for a minute as the father said "if you hit me I will hit you back" and for the next half hour that is exactly what happened. 

I sat there watching this happen.  I stopped trying to hide the fact I was paying attention after the third "shut up" occurred and was kind of shocked at how openly people would say such things to their child.   it made me think about my own communications and where I needed to grow with my daughter but it also put some of the judgements I have into perspective.    I felt really sorry for the little boy and thought how much of his parents frustrations would have been curbed if the father had just taken him for a walk around the hospital (which is highly equipped with fun kids stuff). I am thankful for the lesson and thankful for the time I had to reflect on it.

Road Trip!

We are off on a little road trip.  Dan has gone off to work for the next three months and we decided we would all pack up and join him for the first two weekends of it all. It was a lot to take on by myself, packing and organizing, getting the house in order, taking on the long drive ahead while entering into my third trimester.  My body is uncomfortable and my mind has been as well.  But now I have anticipation and excitment, which is a really good way to start any trip, don't you think?

Being thankful 3: Gay Pride as a mother

Today I took Narina to visit some very special friends down in Brighton.  It just so happens to be Pride weekend.  One thing I regret about living in such a rural area is the lack of diversity.  It is a very white, very straight area.  To watch crowds of same sex couples of all colours holding hands, kissing, wearing next to nothing and celebrating is something I have always liked.  To see my daughter wave at the floats of people driving by was like a dream come true. Is it cliche how much I use that phrase in respect to my experiences as a mother?  In reality my life as a mother is a dream come true.  But to me the fact that at nearly 2 years of age she has been part of something important is truly fulfilling.

A celebration of diversity.  A festival of love.  An openness about sexual expression.

This is what I want her to grow up knowing as a few of the pillars in life. 

long time...

I'm sorry that it has been a while.


We have had Dan home for a few weeks!  It has been great for us all.  It has also been the most productive time we have ever had as a couple.  I may be exaggerating but I am not sure.  This is really the last chunk of time I will have Dan here until the baby is born.  All those jobs that he has had on his to-do list have had to come to completion this week.  All those jobs where I need child care to accomplish have been done as well!

The result? 3 dentist appointments, doctors appointments, scans (we are having a boy), rug cleaning, fire place removal to get ready for our wood burning stove this winter, children's space clearing, and countless hugs, snuggles and stories.  Eating on the patio for all of our meals has been another blessing for this time of year.

I have lots of posts that will show their faces in the next little while.  A tutorial for calendula oil, how to make your own smell good play dough, birthday planning and autumnal  angels, perfect for back to school surprises!

Until then, here is a post I wrote for the Natural Kids Team on second time pregnancy.